For some reason I find myself often asking my children to
“say you're sorry!” I have to make this demand because my children are hardly
ever sorry. Somehow it makes me feel better when I hear them say “sorry‘ even
when they say it through clenched teeth. Telling your child to say “sorry”
helps them be sorry about as much as making them say “E=MC2” makes
them a world renowned physicist. It doesn’t work. Believe me on this. I taught
both my children Einstein’s law of relativity at a young age, and they still
can’t unravel the most simple of physics required to close a door quietly.
The people at Parker Brothers™ must have more sensitive
and caring children than mine. How else can you explain a game like Sorry™. If
you haven’t played the game, it is quite brilliant. I used to love playing
Sorry™ with my kids before an “incident” landed it on black list.* Like a
scientist watches rats in a maze, I loved watching my children scurry their
little colored pieces around the board, waiting for one of those elusive Sorry™
cards to turn up. When someone flips a Sorry™ card, the real action starts. A
player who draws a Sorry™ card gets to bump another player’s piece off the
board back to start. I am assuming that the author of the game felt this
process would somehow result in feelings of remorse and so named the game
Sorry™. After watching my kids play, I came up with my own name for the game. I
call it… “I cannot tell you what delight it brings my soul to see my good
fortune and your demise all happen in one single moment.” or… “The sight of
your countenance falling brings such joy and pleasure to my inward being which
finds its greatest satisfaction in being first and thus forcing everyone else
around me to be last.” I suppose the people at Parker Brothers™ have a more
optimistic view of human nature, or those names wouldn’t fit on the box.
Chances are, they all followed the parenting strategy of telling their kids to
“say you're sorry.”
You can’t teach "sorry" because
"sorry" comes from a realization that one’s self is not the center of
the universe. This deeper awareness of others (and from a Christian perspective
of God) is something that can’t be forced. What we teach when we force our kids
to say “sorry” is an important skill for growing up. Namely, how to say sorry
when you don’t really mean it. Maybe a better thing to tell our kids instead of
"say you're sorry," is “you're not the center of the universe“ or “other
people are as important as you." I guess my point is this, sorry is not
something you learn, it is something you are. When your child realizes that
other people are just as important as they are, and that they should treat them
as more important than themselves, then sorry is not something they will have
to say, it is what they will want to say (or at least be convicted to
say). Sometimes as a father I forget
that I also need to be apologizing to my kids when I am selfish or inconsiderate.
Advice: Don’t forget to say you’re sorry to your kids
when you mess up.
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