That Didn't Work

My wife Heidi and I have officially reached the half-way point in raising our two children, Calvin and Muriel. I’m tired. I suppose you could say our kids are “nearly” perfect, and the people who sailed on the Titanic could say it was “nearly” a great cruise. Because my kids aren’t perfect I have had to make up for it with some pretty terrific parenting techniques, and that is what this blog is all about. Fathering advice. You see, I have tried a lot of thing as a father, and most of them have failed miserably. So I thought I would write younger fathers some advice so they can avoid some of the mistakes I have made.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

"Say You're Sorry!"...


For some reason I find myself often asking my children to “say you're sorry!” I have to make this demand because my children are hardly ever sorry. Somehow it makes me feel better when I hear them say “sorry‘ even when they say it through clenched teeth. Telling your child to say “sorry” helps them be sorry about as much as making them say “E=MC2” makes them a world renowned physicist. It doesn’t work. Believe me on this. I taught both my children Einstein’s law of relativity at a young age, and they still can’t unravel the most simple of physics required to close a door quietly.

The people at Parker Brothers™ must have more sensitive and caring children than mine. How else can you explain a game like Sorry™. If you haven’t played the game, it is quite brilliant. I used to love playing Sorry™ with my kids before an “incident” landed it on black list.* Like a scientist watches rats in a maze, I loved watching my children scurry their little colored pieces around the board, waiting for one of those elusive Sorry™ cards to turn up. When someone flips a Sorry™ card, the real action starts. A player who draws a Sorry™ card gets to bump another player’s piece off the board back to start. I am assuming that the author of the game felt this process would somehow result in feelings of remorse and so named the game Sorry™. After watching my kids play, I came up with my own name for the game. I call it… “I cannot tell you what delight it brings my soul to see my good fortune and your demise all happen in one single moment.” or… “The sight of your countenance falling brings such joy and pleasure to my inward being which finds its greatest satisfaction in being first and thus forcing everyone else around me to be last.” I suppose the people at Parker Brothers™ have a more optimistic view of human nature, or those names wouldn’t fit on the box. Chances are, they all followed the parenting strategy of telling their kids to “say you're sorry.”

You can’t teach "sorry" because "sorry" comes from a realization that one’s self is not the center of the universe. This deeper awareness of others (and from a Christian perspective of God) is something that can’t be forced. What we teach when we force our kids to say “sorry” is an important skill for growing up. Namely, how to say sorry when you don’t really mean it. Maybe a better thing to tell our kids instead of "say you're sorry," is “you're not the center of the universe“ or “other people are as important as you." I guess my point is this, sorry is not something you learn, it is something you are. When your child realizes that other people are just as important as they are, and that they should treat them as more important than themselves, then sorry is not something they will have to say, it is what they will want to say (or at least be convicted to say).  Sometimes as a father I forget that I also need to be apologizing to my kids when I am selfish or inconsiderate.

Advice: Don’t forget to say you’re sorry to your kids when you mess up.


*The Black List, is a list of games that have resulted in more anger, fighting, crying, throwing and general meanness, than creativity or fun. Games that involve speed, competitiveness, or winning tend to end up on the black list.

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